Six Wedding Rules You Should Break | Dearest Lou

Six Wedding Rules You Should Break

Be it in the form of etiquette, tradition or superstition, weddings have long been associated with rules. Haven’t we evolved at all from dressing all of our bridesmaids alike to hide the bride from enemy tribesmen coming to steal her in the night?
Sure, if it’s going to save the bride from an untimely kidnapping, you’ll gladly buy an unflattering gown that you will never wear again. But, with a modern and dramatic decrease in bride-snatching, we’re pretty sure we can abandon that, and several other rules that have lost their original importance.
(Note: we definitely recognize that some people positively love tradition – our suggestions are all about doing your thing no matter how traditional, or not, you happen to be).
That leads us to the first breakable wedding rule:

1. Bridesmaids must match.

No two girlish figures are the same, and no two financial situations are either. Further, people are not decorations. Choose a single color, shades of one color, or a complementary palette of colors and let your bridal party select gowns in which they are comfortable. A line of happy bridesmaids in different styles and shades of pink bridesmaid dresses is far more fetching in photos than a line of identically clad and wholly irritated ladies.

2. You must give your guests favors.

Personalized trinkets are not the reason why guests attend weddings. They invest time and money in attending a celebration of two new lives becoming one. They will come wherever you imagine your wedding to be, because they appreciate the most important day of your life!
If you’re no fan of favors, skip them!
Your wedding guests will never miss them, your wedding party won’t skewer you in secret because you made them tie 300 tiny bows, and the world’s suppliers of shot glasses and colorful candy almonds will survive.

3. Guests must sit on the bride’s side or groom’s side according to their allegiances.

This isn’t Game of Thrones and there will be no popular vote or winner of the wedding. Half the time hapless ushers are so smitten with the pretty girls in pink bridesmaid dresses or distracted as they fuss with their faux bow ties, they forget which side is which anyway. While we hate to sound like broken records, weddings are about joining families, not apportioning them.
Don’t make your guests take a side.

4. The bride’s shoes must be white or ivory to match her gown.

Heavens no! Not only are pristine, matching shoes not required, they are downright boring! Some of our favorite wedding photos include some shockingly bright and shamelessly beautiful shoes in just about any possible color peeking out from beneath layers of elegant fabric.
And during a night of dancing, we’ll gladly accept anything from barely-there flip-flop sandals to just plain bare feet. Whatever keeps you on the dance floor and having the time of your life!

5. Full-length dresses are only for formal weddings.

While formality still dictates some attire choices (especially for men), a full-length gown is in an option any time of day. Choose your bridal gown and bridesmaid attire based on your fashion sense, practical considerations presented by your venue, and (quite sensibly) the weather.

6. You must toss and smash according to custom.

The garter retrieval and toss lacks some tact. The bouquet toss can be really embarrassing for some single guests and smashing cake in your new spouse’s face is not only a bad way to start a relationship; it is kind of barbarian. Skip ‘em if you’re so inclined.
In fact, skip any custom or formality that doesn’t honor your relationship, express who you are, or jive with your beliefs. Go ahead and break those rules!

Author Bio

Wendy Dessler
Title: Super-Connector at OutreachMamaWendy is a super-connector with OutreachMama and Youth Noise NJ who helps businesses find their audience online through outreach, partnerships, and networking. She frequently writes about the latest advancements in digital marketing and focuses her efforts on developing customized blogger outreach plans depending on the industry and competition. You can contact her on Twitter.


  1. Thanks for this great post and the lists too.

    Richard D.